Not a good friend material

I m shocked to know that one of my close friend give birth recently..
I m not pay a visit to her, no mentally support, or chats during her pregnancy period..

And another close friend, who always helped me whenever I need..
I haven't visit her and her new born as well..
The worse things is.. Her give birth hospital was so near my house.. And I DIDN'T take the initiation to be there...

And I always break my promises to visit anyone, everyone.. Because I'm freaking lazy and fear to drive..
I promise you, you and you.. You you.. To visit whenever I m free.. And I didn't.. Yes! I m a selfish bitch.. And I m fail for being a friend...

I spend my time on sleeping sleeping and sleeping...
Day by day, time by time I distance myself from all of my friends.. Due to my laziness...

What I have did to concern them? I check from Facebook.. Yeah I know it sound shitty.. I really da kind of cold hearted person.. I m disappointed on myself too.
Ya.. Kill me now... I m shame of myself...
I never be a good friend material.. I m so sorry... Let me rot inside my shell.
-Qian-